Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
if only i could text you this smell
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Randomize
