he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
We have started to decorate penises.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
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