I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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