She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
