She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
