she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
