My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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