Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Randomize
