you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
P.S. I can't hear my feet
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
