1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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