This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Randomize
