thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Randomize
