So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
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For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
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got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
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