you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
