Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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