I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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