it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
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