I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
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