so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
