oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I think we might need a safe word for this...
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
