tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Randomize
