According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
