Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I need moral support for this bender
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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