Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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