I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I'm pants shitting drunk right now
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
