Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Randomize
