So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
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The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
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You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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