If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
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