My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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