my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
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