you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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