Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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