i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
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