whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I think I just shit out all my problems.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
