Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Randomize
