Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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