Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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