There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Randomize
