How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
