I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
