i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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