dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
