me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Randomize
