I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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