She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Michael Bay diarrhea
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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