why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Can I color on your dick again?
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
