next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize