She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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