Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
