You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize