you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
