it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
