The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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