There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I'm really into asian looking animals
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
